We crossed the field with the sun in our eyes.
Draggin’ our luggage behind.
On our way back to the town we left.
So happily those months before.
I thought that was my window to get lost from you.
I watched as you tried to see and not see.
Whatever place I found to hide.
Cover you bases by watching your best.
But only as far as you could.
I wished you weren’t trapped in a lose/lose arrangement.
You said what you should have but when you turned your head
I believed I saw your face flash with what you really felt for me.
And mutter something like, “Yeah, that’s what I think of you
As you kicked a piece of trash.
At the hotel we had right by the airport.
All of the lights had gone out.
All night long the heavy machines
Moved around right outside the room.
Once you stood in the window and I thought you were both
Surrendering and pleading for someone to come and rescue you.
I’ll cop to having thrilled a bit to your helplessness in the trap I thought I had you in.
In delusive disgrace together.
Track Name: Texoma
Someone else’s cabin. Someone else’s boat.
Never was attention that kept the thing afloat.
Could have been amoebas, could have been the beer.
Can’t quite get away with acting like that here.
But there I could play with the forces a bit.
Dance on the mouth of the watery pit.
Laugh in the face of the freshwater sea.
Flirt with the monster that stole you from me.
Climbing where we shouldn’t, making dares in haste.
Who but me would end up running from the waste?
Half in love with drowning. Unafraid of doom.
Twirling in the water singing, ‘pink, pink, pink, pink moon’.
Coming to from resting, baffled by the sound.
Hadn’t much expected you would run the thing aground.
Gave me quite the leg up to bask in your defeat,
Drying off the lake water in someone else’s sheets.
Track Name: Valuation
Sometimes I look about my life
And wish that it was other.
I know I’m not alone in that,
Comparing to another.
I’ve done what I could to keep my interest.
What I wanted, I have tried.
The girls once asked of my regrets,
And offered their missed actions.
So I reviewed my checkered past,
But ultimately had none.
Nothing I’ve done has not been essential.
One could say worse things of herself.
A drive like mine for novelty,
It doesn’t line the wallet.
But if a thought occurs to me,
I’ve nothing that will stall it.
Tell me I’ve not chosen well.
Track Name: Seninfanan Malkredulo
To know the shape of my wake is entirely up to me,
Lends an uneasy sort of weight to a trickier kind of free.
Begs the question, aren’t they all? Oh, and it’s prob’ly true.
With no chains and with no walls it’s hard to know what to do.
Without the cop out of compliance, everything’s open to
Lonely, anxious exploration. You only answer to you.
For all the trouble they can cause, one can imagine how
The fantasy of permanence, progeny would allow.
But the pressure on the person sat on a branch’s end
Must be tripled with awareness of the one turn you’ve got to expend.
To the childless unbeliever, know that you’re not alone.
It gets better, we can see it. This tradition will be our own.